Forgiven

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven —for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little. And He said to her, Your sins are forgiven.

Luke 7:47- 48

It blows my mind to think that I have been in active addiction for over a quarter of a century! 25+ years! I have managed to put together some clean time here and there but nothing substantial and nothing over a year. During the times of active addiction, I sinned A LOT. I did a lot of things I was not proud of that go hand in hand with addiction. Lies, manipulation. deceit, theft, etc the list goes on. I have a lot of trauma in my past that has never been dealt with including a fatal accident that I cannot seem to forgive myself for even though it was not my fault. My scars run deep.

One morning when I was asking Jesus for his message, I closed my eyes and flipped through my bible until I felt a magnetic pull on my finger and I landed on this story about a woman whom Jesus forgave.

In Luke 7:36-50

The story is told of this woman who was looked down upon because of the way she conducted herself. She had nothing to offer Jesus and yet she was so grateful to be in his presence that she anointed his feet with the little bit of oil that she had and proceeded to wash them with her tears and her hair. The pharisee proclaimed that if Jesus knew who this woman was, he would not be so kind to her as she was a sinner.

Jesus told the Pharisees a story, He said, “Two people owed money to the same banker. One owed five hundred and the other owed fifty. They had no money to pay what they owed, but the banker told both of them they did not have to pay him. Which person will love the banker more?”

The Pharisee, answered, “I think it would be the one who owed him the most money.”

Jesus said to him, “You are right.” Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to him, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.

He was pointing out that my sins, ALTHOUGH there are MANY – are FORGIVEN. Yes, even me. And yes, he will forgive even you! In fact, the MORE sins you have, the more you are forgiven!!!!

My god is not an angry God. He is a loving and forgiving GOD. My trauma runs deep and so do my sins, and if he can forgive and show me the way to a blessed life and a reservation in heaven, I will walk hand in hand with him. He died for me so I can live for him and help you.

I never thought I was deserving enough or had anything to offer. I was reckless with my life and I destroyed anyone else’s life who got close enough to me. I was not the person you wanted around and towards the end, my only friends were the ones I was paying to keep my habits going. My body was fighting me and I felt it shutting down and I didn’t care.

I was too caught up in escaping reality to deal with it at everyone else’s expense. That’s when I decided to end it, but Jesus had another plan for me and he has another plan for you too.

See God has our whole life planned out for us before we are even born – down to every mistake we will make, every tear we will shed, and every victory we will celebrate. I can rest knowing that he’s got this and I am finally in agreement with GOD. That is an incredible high in itself – Will you find your new high with Jesus?