Are you lost?

I was beyond lost. I was one heartbeat away from a corpse in the ground. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person, not religious, but when I am in active addiction, my spirituality is the first thing to go followed by my feelings, emotions, values, and morals. I become a hollow shell simply existing for the next high and nothing is satisfying to me anymore. It’s as if darkness moves into my body and the only thing to keep it at bay is to keep feeding it with drugs and alcohol. I literally become a servant to my addiction and everything I have ever cared about slips away.

Even after being able to put together some clean time, the minute I allow drugs and alcohol back into my life, all the hard work I accomplished disappears, and my addiction picked up where I left it, if not worse. It’s an endless nightmare and there is no cure. My hopes and dreams vanish and I am lost. The only care I can seem to focus on is feeding the addiction which is ultimately killing me. The sick and twisted part about it is that I know that my addiction wants me dead, and won’t stop haunting me until it is successful, and in active addiction, I do not care. In fact, I welcome death because then and only then will the torment stop and some relief be possible.

At least that is what I thought. Have you ever heard of the story of the lost sheep? God is telling us that there is in fact another way. A way to restore our hope if we let him. Let me share it with you.

 Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents [changes] than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent [change].

Luke 15:4-7 Brackets mine

Jesus takes great pride in going out to find his lost sheep. If you ever look at his disciples, they consist of misfits! The more broken we are, the greater works He can do! Jesus wants to help us, otherwise, his job is boring! It says so in that bible verse. Here is another:

I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak.

Ezekial 34:15-16

So how do I get Jesus to come out look for me and bring me home? All I have to do is ask him. If I search out Jesus, he will search out me. I am always going to be an addict. I am always going to be addicted to something. So why not put my addiction on something that will benefit my life instead of destroying it? God works in mysterious ways and if you let him, he will transform your life beyond your wildest dreams. All you have to do is ask and have faith. Today I choose to be addicted to Jesus instead of drugs and alcohol and he turns my darkest moments into my brightest opportunities. If he can do it for me, yes – even me? I can assure you, he CAN and WILL do it for you!