Living with Addiction Like a Thorn in My Side

Addiction is one of those diseases that is as baffling to doctors and scientists as it is to those of who suffer from it. Some say it is genetic, some say it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and some claim it is a learned behavior. No one really knows, but we do know that some people have addictive personalities, and some people don’t. We also know that there is no known cure, however, it can be arrested at some point in time, or rather it can go into remission. This is very popularly referred to as when an addict goes into recovery.

I personally think this is the worse diagnosis a person can receive, the hardest to overcome, and we become the strongest for dealing with it. Addicts are some of the most intellectual and talented people I have ever met, we just keep ourselves so drugged up that most of us never get to experience just how gifted we are.

I used to be ashamed that I was an addict. Truth be told, I have been an addict my whole life. First food, then self-harm, sex, and finally drugs and alcohol. Over the years, I have transferred my addiction from one thing to another and the lifestyles that came with it brought their own hardships. I did not choose to be an addict, but I can choose what I stay addicted to.

During this attempt at getting sober, I finally accepted my fate instead of running from it and you know what? I can breathe. Being an addict is who I am, only today, I am turning it into a positive trait to help others than a negative trait that destroys lives.

In recovery, they tell us that addicts only have to change one thing: EVERYTHING. Only that is wrong because one thing will not change, and that is the fact that we will still remain an addict. Jesus knows this, and he doesn’t want us to change this. He wants us to seek him so he can transform this darkness into light. Our lives are meant to be miraculous – living testimonies of the amazing power of God, but he keeps a thorn in our side to remind us of where we came from and to help others who have lost hope.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

My God is a loving God and the more damage you have, the more blessings he can bestow upon you. We no longer have to feel afraid, ashamed, guilty, defiled, disgusted, unworthy, helpless, or hopeless. When we turn our lives to God, he promises to restore everything that the devil of addiction has stolen from us.

God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered.

Deuteronomy 30:3

Dearly beloved, look at yourself in the mirror. Really look at yourself. Love yourself the way that Jesus and God want to love you. Say yes to God and say yes to YOU! Today I am no longer addicted to drugs, I am addicted to Jesus. He turns my darkest moments into my brightest opportunities. If he can do it for me, he can DEFINITELY do it for you!