Jesus asked me: What kind of follower am I?

On March 6, 2022, I was baptized at my local church, and I chose Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I believe that he died on the cross for me and that I was forgiven for my sins and healed in the eyes of the Lord. Unaware to me at the time, some type of internal transformation was taking place, and my spirit was becoming holy – becoming one with the Lord. So then, HOW – you may ask did I slip back into a relapse if Jesus saved me? I had the same questions.

Sitting in rehab one morning, I was flipping through my bible with my eyes closed, asking for guidance from God. I felt the pages with the tip of my finger until a magnetic pull guided my finger to these verses that answered those very questions. Jesus asked me what kind of follower I was. I love that the Bible is a living text and always speaks directly to the questions in my heart. I meditated on the following verses before relating the past few months of my life to different types of followers of Jesus.

When I was baptized, I managed to accumulate four months of sobriety with the Lord before my relapse. During this time, I identified with being a follower who fell on the rocks:

The ones on the rocks, when they hear the Word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe it for awhile, and in time of testing fall away.

Luke 8:13

That was me. Life was going great, and sure I went to church, watched Christian TV, listened to gospel music, and went to bible study once a month, but it was all superficial. I did not establish any roots in the Word, make any friends in the Church, or discover who I was in Christ. I just went with the motions. So when temptation crept up on me, it didn’t take much to get me out the door and back into active addiction.

Now when I was in my relapse, I fell on the thorns:

And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way, they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

Luke 8:14

I was so consumed by drugs even Jesus could not pull me away – that is until he did not let me pull myself away, and now our relationship is getting back on track. See, Jesus never left me; I left Jesus. So this time, it is important I build my recovery and my life around God because, for me, the two go hand in hand. As I rebuild, I plan on rebuilding on the good soil:

As for that in the good soil, they are those who hearing the Word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience. They grew and yielded 100 fold.

Luke 8:15

But Jesus leaves me with this warning this time, and I leave it with you:

Take care then how you hear, for the one who has, more will be given, and the one has not, even what he thinks he has will be taken away.

Luke 8:18

Addiction sucks, but today I am no longer addicted to drugs; I am addicted to Jesus. He takes my darkest moments and turns them into my brightest opportunities. If he does it for me, he can do it for you.