Who I am and Why I’m Here. My Jumping Off Point

The day was October 24, 2022, when I reached my jumping-off point. My name is Megan and I am a drug addict. I’ve been stuck in a delusional, abusive relationship with my addiction for over 25 years and we keep chasing after each other in endless cycles of torture on the merry-go-round. Talk about a love-hate relationship. Finally, I screamed ENOUGH!!!!!!! I was hurting everyone in my life and my health was declining fast, so I thought “I’ll show you” – I downed an ungodly amount of pills and topped it off with even more alcohol, wrote my goodbye letters to those closest to me (my parents and even worse – my son) and went to sleep never planning on waking up.

You see, I learned in rehab that the jumping-off point is when you reach the point you are ready to jump off the building, or in my case, the merry-go-round. Addiction is SO EVIL that in some weird, sick, and twisted way, suicide can look more delicious than waking up one more day to the chaos, the withdrawal, and the madness of here we go again.

It never even dawned on me how devastating it would be to my son and my family had I been successful. Right at the holidays too. WTF!! Something of this magnitude would destroy any family and for an addict, it’s just another Tuesday.

There is no practical reason why I am still alive today except for one. When I jumped off, Jesus caught me. On March 6, 2022, I was baptized and he told me He would never leave me or forsake me. When he saw me trying to leave this planet – he was like – OH, HELL? NO!!!! One – because he was pissed I tried to kill myself he was like hell no girl! and 2 because I belong to him so he was yelling saying HELL cannot have her – NOT TODAY SATAN and he did not let me die!

So here I am, repurposed and reimagined. Welcome to my journey of getting clean with God. Check back often as I write about my journey. He put in my heart to share my experiences on this blog and get my ass to Charis Bible College so I can start churches for addicts.

I am no longer addicted to drugs, now I am addicted to Jesus and He is addicted to me. That is one co-dependant relationship I can get behind!

God is good 🙂